The One About Another Year

Today I turn 22. Just like the year before and the year before that, I am again reminded of how time flies by and how quickly things change and how I have this conflicted feelings about my own birthday. 

On one hand it is the day I often thought about the things that I have done so far, if I am completely satisfied where I am at this point in my life, if I am where I want to be, and where will I go from here. Yet on the opposite of it, is the overwhelming sense of okay-ness in looking back and reminiscing the changes that have happened and how far and different I am from the way I used to be. It is a balancing act of the past, the unknown, and the now.

I know that sometimes it is quite debilitating to think about these things on the day that I am supposed to be celebrating this life that I have. But what is celebration if you don't know exactly what  is the celebration for. Add that to my inability to actually live in the moment.

Nevertheless, I am thankful. I am blessed. I am here.

I am thankful for my parents who taught me about selflessness, love, compassion, and the strong will to conquer feats without completely losing myself in the process. And even more importantly, to be okay with things that I cannot control.

I am thankful for my brothers who are always here to guide, support, and laugh with me be that in happy days and not so good days.

To the friends I have since day one, my midnight phone calls and the comfort I need and the people who constantly talk me out of my self-served misery.

To the people at my workplace who always welcome me with open arms, big smiles, and just overall loving and supporting.

To everyone else in between, who have changed my life in so many ways and change the way I think and the way person I want to be, to all of you, I owe whom I've become thus far.

It is amazing to think about how time flies by and how quickly the world is changing and you adjusting, catching up, and learning to phase yourself with those changes.

I don't know where I'll be a year from now. I don't know where I'm heading or what I'll be doing a year from now. I still have a lot of uncertainties, I have so much more to learn and figure out. And sometimes it's fucking scary. But you know what, just like a year before or the year before that and the year before that year, I know I will be alright and I will learn how to be okay with it. 

After all, that is what life is all about... An endless process of becoming.

So here's to another year of life!

To love and to live,

- BatangG