The One About the Paradox of Power

Earlier last week I received an email from the students' association of our faculty regarding the upcoming election for the organization. The application for all administrative positions are all open and everyone's welcome to apply.

I've contemplated about handing in an application for the presidential position but up until this point I am still considering whether or not I should do it. I talked to some of my friends about it and they all encourage me to do it but I'm still weighing the pros and cons of doing so.

As I've mentioned before, I've been participating with a lot of different organizations and programs within the university and community. I like the challenge, the experience, and being able to get out there and become a part of something great.

One of my motivations for wanting to apply for this position is that I know I can do the job if I really  want to. I want to create a more inclusive community for the students in our faculty and take down the wall that separates the elite from the rest of the student body. I want to be able to create an organization that would allow each and every student to have the opportunity to actively participate on the issues that concern them and allow them to have the chance to have access to resources that only the elite are benefiting from. I want to create a fair ground where everyone will have the ability to explore our area of study in a deeper and more meaningful level and to let them know that our faculty is not just for the few but for all and learning doesn't just unfold inside of the lecture halls but between the direct interaction between the students and the faculty members. I want to be able to breakdown the stereotype that the students in our faculty are socially inept and highly exclusive.

But then again, that's just the idealist in me. It rarely ever happens that things happen the way I want them to.

And even if I want to do this, I have to give up some other aspect of life. Seeing that I already have three volunteer programs, a part-time job, and full-time classes it is impossible to fit something else in my already full schedule. If only there are more than 24 hours a day.

One other thing is that, aside from the mentioned reasons above on why I want to run for the presidential position, I couldn't deny the fact that there are also some selfish reasons as to why I am contemplating on running. I would be a hypocrite if I say it's all for everyone's benefit while I would highly benefiting from it as well. It would open doors for me to have more connections with faculty members and the university itself. It would allow me to have a decorative merit in my resume that would highly attract my future employers. I would also have the bragging rights to run the largest student faculty association in one of the top universities in the world and the ranked as the top university in the country for our program. I would be able to have access to opportunities that are only catered to a few number of people. The power and opportunities are invigorating.

I know it's fucked up to say that but that's the reality of it. I am a human being and I know I am not desensitized to be blinded with what I could gain from having that kind of power. In the end, I may not at all be different from the people before me. I may not be able to actually do what I envisioned doing. I hate to be that kind of person and it is something that I would never be proud of.

It's a paradox, if you must. But one thing I know is that, I may not run or win that position but I do know that, that is not the only way to make a difference or contribute something meaningful. Perhaps instead of thinking about others or focus on this thing, I ought to fix my own academic life first and get my shit together.

Either way, a girl can dream every once in a while, eh?