Lately, I realize that I'm becoming more selfish. Selfish in a sense that I am no longer bothered by other people's troubles as much as I did before. I used to be that 'go-to' person for my friends and that one person who's always ready to lend a helping hand. I've volunteered in multiple non-profit and community programs throughout my high school and university careers.Just last weekend I resigned on a volunteer job position I got hired for not even a month ago. It's a great organization and I've been offered a position that could potentially be a gateway to bigger opportunities. But the position requires a lot of hands-on tasks and time that I could necessarily give at this point in my post-secondary life. I have always hated disappointing everyone but this time, I handed in my resignation without even worrying about the damage it might 'cause to the organization. It's reckless and selfish.
But you do what you gotta do.
You see, I grew up in a collectivist society that emphasizes the importance of togetherness and putting other people's needs before their own. It's a great sentiment, really. But at what cost?
Perhaps it's the exposure to western culture that changes my perspective or perhaps this is a product of my own experiences. But the thing is, being selfish is a good thing.
It allows you to take care of yourself and your own needs. It allows you to focus what's the best for you and helps you grow. Because really, if you're not gonna look after yourself, who will?
See, never apologize for putting your own needs before others. Never apologize for turning someone down or disappointing someone. The only person you should be worried about disappointing is yourself (or maybe your parents) but at the end of the day, you're on your own. You're the only person who can control your life and where it is heading and if you keep putting others' needs before your own, there's a great likelihood that you'd be stuck in a place where you no longer have the satisfaction on doing things that you used to love.
Make no apologies for walking away on something or someone that inhibits you from advancing yourself or for developing yourself to be better. You cannot save everybody and you sure as hell don't have to sign up to be a hero. And the thing about being a hero is that they make people less capable of standing up for their own. And you cannot be a hero without saving yourself first.I don't really know where I'm going with this but I guess all I'm trying to say is that, it's okay to be selfish.
It's okay to feel sorry for yourself without thinking about others who have it worst than you. They are your own pain and it's your own reality and nobody can tell you otherwise unless they actually wear your shoes.
It's alright to be selfish. Because being selfish makes you learn about your own worth and how much would that be depends entirely on how much you uphold it.
I'll be back for an actual update soon. Maybe.