The One About Making a Friend.

So it's been awhile and there are a lot of things that have happened in the past few months and maybe I'll talk about it on a separate post but I'm just here to share a story and get it off my chest because I haven't had this kind of feeling in a long time.

photo credits: Luke Stackpoole via unsplash.com

Today I had a work-related thing that ended late which forced me to take a cab because after a few years of living in this city, I'm still learning to find my way around here.

You know how you read stories or watch the news about some bizarre and unfortunate things happening to girls who take cabs by themselves late at night? Well, this ain't one of those stories but it's important to mention to put things into my perspective.

So I was really hesitant about taking a cab by myself because, ye know, I am a woman who is barely 5 ft tall and while I may be a good runner, I can't possibly outrun a car. I could try but let's be realistic here. So being the careful and paranoid person I am, as soon as the cab arrived, I texted my brother my cab number and told him and I'd pin my location to him every few minutes. Judge me all you want, this is what my parents have taught me and better safe than sorry. (I know this is a mess up approach in life and to people in general but bear with me and maybe in the near future, we'll talk about the patriarchal system and feminism, and the struggles of being a woman who want to be strong and independent but also the reality of life).

Anyways, I got in a cab and wasn't sure if I should strike up a conversation with the cab driver as I still have the adrenaline rush from the work-related thing I was in. Despite my reservations and the obvious perspective I have to this point, the cab driver and I were in for an interesting ride.

Essentially, we started talking about the weather (by default) and slightly complained about the fact that it's mid-February and our weather is perfect for Santa and Rudolf. He asked how my day was and I told him about the work-related thing I did, I asked him how his day was and he talked about how it was busy earlier that day and how he was looking forward to going home.

After talking to him for a few minutes, I got more comfortable and less nervous about being in a car with a stranger. I honestly can't remember how we started talking about our personal lives but it felt like we just shifted into a somewhat therapy session.

Photo credits: John Cobb via unsplash.com

Somewhere along our conversation, I asked him if he has kids and it turns out he has 2 sons, a 14 year-old who is aspiring to become a mechanical engineer and an 18 year-old who just recently changed his mind about going to med school and in the process of re-evaluating his career choices. I told him about how I've gone through the same process back when I started college and having no idea what to do with my life and somewhere, somehow, I made it to where I am today and if I manage to get here (not saying I have it all figured out but I'm getting by just fine, I think), his son will figure it out, too.

He talked about how he is trying to support his sons and encourage them to pursue their passions and do whatever makes them happy. We talked about our experiences as immigrants - he and his family were from India. We talked about the struggles that we have - feeling like an outsider and having this feeling that we have to work twice as hard in order to prove that we have every right to be here just like everyone else and to take advantage of the opportunities that come our way.

It might have been fifteen to twenty minutes into the journey when I've shifted from this nervous, hesitant, and kind of fucked up mentality to just being myself talking to another human being. Suddenly this stranger I was scared of became, you know, a person who has his own stories, family, history, and someone who doesn't deserved to be dehumanized and lumped into the same category as the fucked up people on the news. 

We continued talking about our families, I saw and felt how proud he was of his children and how he, much like any other immigrant parents or, ye know, parents, want so much more for their children. I told him that his kids are gonna be amazing someday that they're gonna do great things. There is pride in his voice as he talked about not needing anything or anyone else in life just as long as he has his family - especially his children and how they are all trying their best to keep that cohesive and strong relationship. Much like what I do, I also talked about my brothers - joking about how my younger is a lot of work but we're learning to be better.

It didn't even occur to me that we were five minutes away from home until he asked which was the best direction to go. It didn't feel like I was talking to a complete stranger. It felt like I was in a car ride with an uncle or a friend. Instead of it feeling like a scary shit is going to happen to me, it felt more like catching up with an old friend. And maybe that was it, somewhere along the way, regardless of no names exchanged, we've become friends.

And I know that sounds overlyfuckingdramatic, but I couldn't find better words to explain it. 

This stranger of a man whom I was scared of at the beginning of the ride home just because of what I've read and watch on the news is a great man and deserves the same amount of respect and decency just as everyone else. And it is important to point out that I was wrong and stupid and paranoid and maybe a little (or maybe above average) crazy. 

So anyways, the point is, it's okay to be careful and to always think about your safety but not to the point that you would not give other people a chance or treat people differently just because of the preconceived notions that you have. 

photo credits: Mohammed Alamri via unsplash.com

This experience also reminds me to appreciate and treat people with the same amount of decency I expect from everyone else. Sometimes it's so easy to overlook and forget about the people that we encounter on our day-to-day lives that we forget to appreciate even the little things that they do for us. Somewhere along the way, no matter how big or small, they've contributed in our own journeys. So ye know, be less of a dick and never forget to at least say thank you. 

And maybe if you get a chance, talk less about the weather and ask them about their day. Who knows, maybe you'll be in for quite a ride and maybe at the end of the day, you'd make a new friend, too.

Anyways, we've reached my home. I thanked him for getting me home safe and that I appreciate the conversation that we had. I told him that I have a feeling that his sons will turn out to be great men. He nodded, thanked me, and told me to have a good night as I exited the cab. I opened the door to my home, I've waved at him one last time and as I close the door behind me, I heard the sound of his cab leaving. Tonight I met an inspiring man, a good person, a father, and a new friend.