The One About the Search for the Next High

The past few weeks had been amazing. I like the work that I do and the fact that it's so much more than just a job - it gives me a sense of purpose and life's meaning. I know that may sound overly dramatic but in all honesty, that's exactly how I feel about the work I do. 

But as I get comfortable with the routine and with what I do, there's this longing to look for the next high, to find the next feat to conquer and to continue moving forward with something more - something far more substantial. When I say substantial and far more meaningful I don't mean to say that what I do now is not substantial or meaningful.

My friend and I actually had a conversation about this exact topic. He and I just both finished our respected degrees and are currently doing things that are related to our field of studies. We talked about how that how we feel at the moment is associated to the fact that for the last four years we were wired to have this "what's next, what's next, what's next" kind of thinking. Because our lives as university students was structured to meet all deadlines, prepare for exams, and staying on top everything, it is ingrained in us to always search for what to do next and not doing so make us feel stagnant or settling. I hope that's enough explanation and that what I'm trying to convey here actually makes sense.

However, I'm at that awkward position where I can't fully commit to something since I have plans for the end of the year and that kind of halts me from doing or pursuing the next high. Nevertheless, it doesn't stop me from thinking about or at least trying to figure out what's next for me.

I know I want to do more, to create more, to apply myself more, and to pursue far greater than I have ever done before. I know this sounds crazy and even ambitious but I've always been a firm believer of trying to live up to one's full potential.

I have so many things that I wanna do and I am also at that point where I have yet to figure out what's next and to lay out a concrete plan in order to get there. 

Unlike before, however, now is a lot more complicated since I also have adult responsibilities to take care of and as I learn to navigate this whole adult life thing, the more I miss how easy I had it back then. But I also know that there's no time to fret on things that I couldn't change and it's time to move forward.