I guess this is one of the topics that I have never discussed here or on my previous blog and I figured that maybe there's no better opportunity than to discuss it now.
Dating was never really at the top of my priority. I was never one of those people who go "gaga" over dating or falling in love. I see it as one aspect of life but never the center of it or something that life should revolve around. I guess, if I could come up with a metaphor, it would be this: it's a cake. I'd certainly have some when it's there but I could go on with my life without it.
Yet, having a lot of free time (see previous post), could make a person (me) do things that I have never done before or take into serious consideration. Armed with curiosity and a good dose of self esteem, and perhaps a little dose of insanity, I've signed up for Tinder.
Tinder is one of those things that certainly invoke reaction to people when it's mentioned in conversations. Perhaps because of the nature of how it's portrayed in mainstream media and even the experiences that people have upon using the app.
As a psych major, I've been familiar with this app since we've discussed it in class - on an academic basis - and I found it quite interesting but never really put a lot of thinking until recently. I wanted to know what was the hype all about and if what everyone was saying was true. On a slightly more profound level, I'm also interested in learning about the psychosocial aspect of the app - how people behave, present themselves, and interact with others.
Indeed, it was an interesting experience. I've chatted with some of the guys that I've matched with and went out on a date with 2 people I met through the app. Both were good experiences and the guys I met were actually decent and totally changed my take on the app and my preconceived notions towards it.
While it makes up for a good story to highlight what happened with those two dates, I'd rather not share them here. I feel like as I get older, I have a better sense of what's public and what's private regardless of whether this is sort of an anonymous blog or it would be traced back to me.
However, I would say that those two experiences gave me a new perspective not just about the app but with the whole idea of dating.
Before I was scared to put myself out there in fear that I would just embarrass myself but just like everything else in life, don't write it off until you've tried it.
So what did I get from these experiences? It's this,
The purpose and meaning of something completely depends on what you make out of it. It's about putting yourself out there and knowing where to draw the line. It's about giving a chance to something that you may otherwise just write off completely. It's about being comfortable with who you are and being confident enough to not change that for the sole purpose of being liked. Yes, to a certain extent, the app and maybe some of the people you meet through it could be superficial but there's also a likelihood that you'd get to meet people that would change your perspective in that. It's about giving people a chance to get to know you and you giving them a chance to know you - or at least what you're willing to share. It's about having fun and doing it responsibly. It's about experiencing things and living your life without giving much thought and fear of being judged.
After 3 weeks, 2 dates, and 140 matches, I decided to delete the app.
I figured that those were enough experiences. I gave it a shot, saw what is it all about, and gained some insights. I figured that staying on the app would certainly open the door for other possibilities whether it may be serious, casual, or a one time thing but at the same time, I don't really know what I'm looking for or what I want. I've gotten the experience I was looking for and I think, I'll play it safe and keep it at that.
Swiping is fun. Getting to know people is an even more interesting experience. But at this point in my life, I honestly have to say that it's not for me - though I am not closing the door for possibilities. It's like a cake, after all.
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