The One About the Re-Introduction

While I am not sure until when I'd be writing here, I figured that it would be quite fitting to re-introduce myself since a lot of things have happened in the past few years.

Before there is "Now"

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

If you've known this page since its initial conceptualization, you've probably watched me grow from that awkward fourteen year old girl who used self-deprecating jokes and quick wit to make sense of her life in a new country that is completely different from where she was brought up.

Yeah, I tend to talk about myself in third person pov.

Back then, I used this blog as an outlet to talk about my experiences and to stay connected with my Filipino roots. I've always been passionate about writing and I figured that this platform would let me continue to do what I love - writing. 

I've written prose, short stories, series, and really, just whatever was going on around that time. I've made friends around the globe and I get satisfaction that one way or the other, there is someone out there who appreciates what I can share and what I have to say. 

I feel like I stopped writing around the time that my grandmother passed away. I was just so lost that even writing did not help in navigating and making sense of an experience that is as profound as that. Grief doesn't even cover half of the thoughts and emotions you would experience upon knowing that a person you love and care for would be just, you know, gone. After that, I just kind of feel like I outgrew the blog and just stopped writing completely and BatangGala just became a part of my history - something that I did as part of growing up. 

The Complete Makeover

After about three years in college and some growing up, I came back to make some more self-deprecating jokes. 

On a more serious note, it was around this time that I decided to come back and write again. I've been going through some personal stuff and I figured that writing about my thoughts would help me make sense and deal with my situation.

Photo by Shashank Sahay on Unsplash

I was never really formally diagnosed with depression. But when your normal is consist of constantly crying, sitting at the corner of your room at night, thinking of the easiest (and least traumatic way for your family) to kill yourself, you bound to realize that you ought to know that you have to do something about it and re-examine your purpose in life. Of course, this is an oversimplified summary and not that I want to cheapen that experience, or anyone's, but I could talk about it more in later posts.

Back to the re-imagining.

So yeah, I came back and decided to write again. Well, technically, I came back and write every once in awhile. It turns out, university could take up the majority of my time and I didn't really have time to think about my depression or writing, or anything else for that matter. 

I came back more for myself and just to have an outlet as opposed to interacting with other bloggers/writers. Hence, the url change from "angtunaynaako" to "batanggalawanders." 

While I didn't write on a daily basis, I've kept the blog and come back every once in awhile. It's like visiting your childhood best friend who know your deepest, darkest secrets. This sounds really overly dramatic but fuck it.

And so, I gave the blog a new look. All of the posts from my teenage years were downloaded and archived in a usb stick sitting somewhere in my drawers. I figured that if I wanna continue doing this, I might as well start fresh. 

The Present

Photo by Natalie Collins on Unsplash

Well, a lot more things have happened. To sum up, I've finished my degree. If you really think about it, that has been the center of my life for the last four years. A lot of the things that I did were focused on that and it's the easiest and shortest way to explain where I'm going from here. 

 Now I'm back with renewed passion for writing and this urge to use this blog as a tool to organize my thoughts and share my ideas - no matter how mundane and useless - to whoever would take the time to read them. 

And so here I am, taking another shot at this. There'd be no promises how constant this thing would be. I just want to continue doing what I love and if you happen to like what you see here, thank you and good for you.

So who am I?

Well, obviously, BatangGala is not my real name. It's a pseudonym I used back when I was fourteen to pretend I'm cool and shit. Essentially, "batang gala" is a Tagalog word for a child who's always wandering around - kinda like Huckleberry Finn. 

So anyways, BatangGala is kinda like a metaphor for this idea that I'm always "wondering and wandering." Back then, I have an overactive imagination and while I am not physically wandering around, I've created worlds within my head and tried and did my best to type them up and share it here. 

I've decided to stick with the name because if I'm gonna try and be a pretentious writer, I might as well use an alter-ego so as not to incriminate myself - or at least not as much.

What to expect from this blog?

Nothing really because fuck expectations.

Just kidding. Or not.

I just wanna write and continue doing that without trying to live up to any expectations - I have the real world and real life for that. I just want this to be a creative outlet where I can talk about the things, topics, and issues that I want to talk about. 

This is also a way for me to document what it's like to be an adult when you feel like you're a child playing grown-up dress-up.

I will also have an instagram account (@thebatanggala) where I would publish poems and perhaps snippets of my other content here. If you want to reach me, that'll be the perfect way to do it. 

Also, I don't proof read my blog entries and I apologize for the wrong grammar, misspellings, misuse of words, etc. etc. 

So, welcome. Thank you for stopping by and hope you enjoy your stay.